Chapter Eight

The day she dreaded most finally arrived. Cookie had left her with countless missed calls as was typical of her. She knew better to not keep her waiting for long if she really wanted a quiet journey ahead. Pulling herself out of bed she freshened up and picked up the first dress she could lay her hands on. It was a simple tubular pale pink dress with a lacing at the back. She was barely done smoothening out her tangled hair when she heard the car honk from below her apartment accompanied by the irritating ringtone from her phone. She wondered why she still kept it.

She raked her fingers through her hair and grabbed her go-to duffel bag. Sleeping over at the haven wasn’t an option she wanted to consider. Feena wasn’t home but she didn’t have to worry about her. Even if she doesn’t have the jingles, finding a place to sleep for the night wouldn’t be hard to find.

It was rewarding for her to see that look of frustration on her elder sister’s face. She took her time to descend the staircase one after another as if the whole world was waiting on her. She didn’t want to give her sister that gratified feeling of thinking she was hurrying up for her sake. But no matter how much she wanted to get on her nerves, every step closer sent thumps to her heart, making the next steps heavier and harder. Someone would think she was exhausted from having to hike up and down the steps but the real trek was what happened in her mind: traveling down through the many cold years.

One thing was certain about this journey. She wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready for the arduous half day’s trip and she was definitely not ready to travel down memory lane to those painful moments. Now that she thinks of it, she realized both journeys were the same. They were both grueling to travel on. But she managed to find a way through. A way of her own on which she treaded which shielded her from bearing those bruises. The way of seeing nothing, knowing nothing and feeling nothing. Simply put, caring about nothing.

“Why don’t you stash your phone in the trash if you know you’re not gonna use it?” Cookie sat in front of the steering wheel of her gray sprayed Benz clearly miffed.

“I did consider that,” Keisha replied flatly, taking a seat beside her sister. 

Cookie knew it’d be pointless dragging this on. It was good enough she showed up in the first place. However, when she saw her at first glance she knew something was wrong. 

“Are you still on drugs?”

“If that’s your way of asking how I’m doing then don’t ask”, she replied, slightly annoyed at her question and the condescending tone which came with it. She clutched the seat belt into its lock and leaned against the headrest avoiding her gaze. 

“Fine, I’m sorry for how it came out but really, how are you? You look very pale”

“Bad weather,” she said the first thing that came from the top of her head. It was obvious she wasn’t ready for any kind of conversation. Her sister didn’t press her any more. Another snide response would make her sick. They started the journey in cold silence. The only sound that was heard in the car was Cookie’s stereo system.

“Shasha-“

“I told you not to call me that”, she cut her before she could say another word. It was the bloodshot eyes that got her knowing how serious she was. Cookie was just as confused as to how this was once a name of endearment and now, it was just forbidden.

“Keisha…” trying to choose her words a bit more carefully. 

“I’m sorry … about earlier, on the tv show with Maureen. I did that to protect you from being trolled. You’ve had enough already as is and I felt like you had a right to privacy over your own life and I didn’t want to infringe on that”, Cookie wasn’t sure how she felt after apologizing. Her pride had always been her dictator but somehow, she had to admit she had a special place in her heart for this girl. 

“Cookie, I really don’t care about whatever you said on that show or your intention for them, just keep the car moving!” She yawned.

The journey was getting tiresome and Cookie could feel her legs growing numb as every minute passed. She needed a break and soon. Keisha on the other hand had her eyes closed the whole time feigning sleep. She could tell her sister was getting exhausted through the intermittent breaks. Ideally, it’d feel nice to just let her know she cared by asking her if she was but she didn’t want to. For now, her mood preference was glacial and she wasn’t sure she was going to feel remorse for that either.

Cookie pulled over at a motel a few hours later on the Lone Street and by this time, it was almost sundown.

“Let’s rest up a bit and continue.” She said from the corner of her mouth. Left to her she wouldn’t have spoken to this impudent young lady of a sister but sometimes, she just had to be the bigger person and look past her flaws. 

Keisha got off the car to visit the motel’s restroom without saying a word. Cookie was parched at this point but her legs were too numb to carry her to the motel’s restaurant for a drink. “How insensitive,” she said under her breath watching her sister walk away.

****

She took the little candy jar from her duffel bag and took her drug from it. She was advised to take it religiously to minimize the number of times she got the chest spasms and that was the last thing she needed for this trip. She chugged down some water from the faucet at the sink together with the tablet. 

The motel looked like it was barely visited. The only workers were two or perhaps one if the middle aged man just happens to be the manager. The other looked younger and naive. She was quite clumsy for a waiter and her boss wasn’t taking it easy on her. If he had his way, she would have been fired a long time but somehow, she needed help and she looked it. 

“Attend to that Miss who just walked in and you better not spill coffee on her too. We don’t have many customers as is” he warned.

“Yes sir” she cringed. 

Keisha stared at her closely and noticed her jittery fingers. She could tell how she lived just by watching her and saw a part of herself in her but the only difference was, unlike her, she had nothing to hold on to. 

“You’re welcome, Ma’am. What can I help you with, please?” She still quivered but slightly and she forgot to give her a menu. Keisha smiled.

“Laureen, right?”

The waitress looked flustered. She wasn’t expecting her to mention her name though it was boldly printed on her tag. 

“Y-yes please” 

“I think I’m going to need that menu to place an order,” She still smiled. 

“I’m so sorry. Please don’t let my boss know” she pleaded.

“Mmm… that’s alright but I’ll need something in return”

“What do you need, ma’am?”

“Simple. There’s a lady in a car parked at your entrance, I just need you to send her minty flavored water and a veggie sandwich.”

“Yes please and what about you?”

“I’ll give you my order when you return. I should be done looking through it by then.”

“Yes please. Thank you so much” Laureen finally at ease.

This job must mean the world to her. Why would she be so scared of losing this job? It’s not like people knew of this motel’s existence but then again compared to her, she didn’t even have a job and if she did, it wouldn’t be half as decent as this. After her meal, she slipped her payment under her tray together with a note which had her contact on it.

“You’re back. For a while I thought you had booked a room.” Cookie leaned against her car. Her legs were feeling a lot lighter than before. 

“I would have loved to but I need to get this chore over and done with, not so?” 

Cookie felt the turning inside of her. Her sister had totally changed from the last time they ever lived together and she had the right to but she felt it was too swift and too drastic. She hardly recognized her to be that little girl who tagged along with her everywhere she went or who cried about the least thing, or the one who Jamal always overprotected. He had named her Shasha because he thought that name was fierce and perhaps influence her in some way. It looked like it did.

It was getting darker and they needed to be on their way soon. They had a few hours left to make the rest of the journey and to get to their destination. Cookie craved her bed and some time for herself. She had had enough of Keisha’s chills for one day and wasn’t sure she could survive another six hours with her. She put her all into the journey ahead and sped all the way, cutting a six-hour trip down to four.

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