Chapter Thirty-Two

They both rode back in silence. Jamal could hardly take his eyes off her as if she was going to slip away from him again. He wondered why he still felt uneasy especially when the love of his life was right beside him. It didn’t feel right and he knew it but was too enraptured by her to see the reality for what it was. Maybe he loved her but what about her, when all she’s done was please him and stay silent? The quietude was disturbing him but he didn’t know that was the language she spoke.

“How did the production go?” He finally asked.

“Fine,” she curled up a bit.

“Just fine? Nothing unusual happened?”

“Were you expecting there to?” 

“No but usually…” he tried to explain why he thought there would but the young lady wasn’t interested. She looked away from the window as he spoke but he had resolved in his heart to still chase this love he wasn’t seeing.

“You seem upset that I came,” He drove to a stop which got her attention.

“Why did you stop?”

“I want us to talk about …us. Do I have any hope of earning your love?” He gripped the steering wheel as if he was going to crumble if she said something horrible. The courage he showed when he first told her he was willing to go through hell waiting for her seemed to have worn off over time.

“Jamal… I told you not to expect anything from me but if you still want to, you must wait”

“But I can’t wait any longer, Shasha. I’ve stayed bogged down for about six years. It’s tiring. I finally got the courage to pursue what I really want and ….” He sighed. She looked at him unsure of what to feel or say but she could relate with having to wait for something for so long. Hadn’t she been waiting for her mother’s approval until she totally gave up? Waiting for the day justice would be served to her aunt and cousin for what they did to her? And how about Dwayne? After dragging her name in the mud labelled as a whore. But where did all that waiting bring her? More anger and resentment which nipped the little life left in her. It seemed as though all this while she was waiting for the wrong things. 

She wanted to soothe his pining  but she didn’t seem to have the words to. The only thing she did to ease her pain on most days was smoke the day away at the club or get it on with a stranger and now the sun therapy. Thank God for the sun therapy. Who knows how much more filth she would’ve invited to her wasting body.

“Will you… take a walk with me?” She hesitated as she looked around and landed on a good spot on their side of the highway. It was a lonely one but not one without a good view. It appeared a few people travelled on it.

“You know I will.” He smiled for a moment and stopped the engine. Before she stepped out of the car, he was already by her door and opened it for her to.  

“You don’t have to keep doing this,” she said.

“I want to.”

She got out and started walking into the woods and he fell in step with her after locking the car. 

“You’ve been here before?” 

“No,” she said. 

“Then how did you know to come here?”

“You stopped here and you were there whining like a child. I thought you needed a breather,” she added, still walking and kicking the stones on her way leisurely.

“Like a child,” he repeated with a grim face. Disappointed that his complaint was only deemed as a tantrum by a child.

“Keisha I was serious back there.”

“I know you were, but-“ she sighed. 

“There’s nothing to be scared of. I promise I’m going to be with you through everything. Never to leave you. I’m going to treat you as I should have. I promise you this, Keisha.”

She smirked. How many times had she heard this yet she was still alone. 

“I had meant to do this tonight but I don’t think I can wait anymore….” He took out a little box from his pocket and turned her to himself. He didn’t kneel or do the usual proposal antics but it felt like the right time to do it.

“Keisha, I’ve already lived a life without you before. I almost lost my mind had it not been that you filled it everyday. Those many days of longing, of wanting you close to me were the only things that kept me feeling alive and sane although they were unbearable. Now that you’re here, allow me the honor of being your partner for a lifetime, your husband, of love and not convenience. Please… Keisha,” one knee could hardly stand those words and it gave way for him to hit the ground and look up to those hazel brown eyes. 

“I promise we’re going to be a happy family. Raising kids of our own, having a little bakery there because I know you love to bake. We’d go to church together like before but only if you’re willing…” 

She couldn’t hide the shock on her face while she stood frozen in front of him with her hand in his. He was waiting for her reply but she had just gone dumb. Her head bore the weight of the shock as it throbbed with intense pain. 

“Keisha?” 

“Ummm… Jamal, stand… please. This is all too sudden.” She finally spoke.

“I know… but I want to do what is right and fast. And don’t worry about Marissa. I’m going to formally relieve her immediately after we get back but please, give me your answer. That would put my heart at ease,” he looked at her face earnestly, waiting anxiously.

“At ease, huh?” She smiled softly to which he nodded.

“Sure…” she said but only reluctantly, just to get him off his knees. 

The young man’s heart felt like it’d burst. He grabbed her and embraced her tightly planting pecks in her hair along to her nape.

“Thank you so much, Shasha. You just made me the happiest man on earth,” he exclaimed. And she had just been made the most foolish woman on earth. Everything on her demeanor told her she just made the wrongest decision of her life and the hopeless romantic couldn’t contain the joy of getting married without keeping his hands to himself. Keisha knew where it might lead to but didn’t stop him. They’d later forget they were on a journey home seeing how the day darkened into dusk.

“I love you, Keisha” he stroke her shoulder gently as they laid on the grass below them.

“The stars are beautiful…” she replied after hesitating to speak for a moment.

“And so are you, my love” he kissed her forehead and nestled together in the grass. 

****

The little motel now had less than a dozen guests still lodging in with them and even that,  some were going to check out that night. By this time, Laureen’s friends were long gone. The quietness was gradually creeping in again. It was one thing she did not miss. Although the previous days had been a mix of fun, frustration, adventure and disappointments, she seemed to remember just the part about the fun and adventure. Who would have thought that in a space of an hour or less she’d move up to be a manager? It didn’t look like it made much of a difference since she had just one staffer under her but at least she felt like she didn’t have to be intimidated by Jefferson. Her only employee felt the pinch too after their friends left and she was grateful that he was slowly integrating into her family. How she wished it was her real family. It was something she thought about on most days which fuelled her kindness towards him as well as her jealousy whenever she saw him relating with others, like Ms Bighead. But she couldn’t help worrying about Keisha. Why was he so weird around her? Could she be the one he was interested in? If that was the case, she’d be crushed but she’d have to let go. After all, which fine young man would want a woman with kids? But can she hope for that at least? 

Now the prime time was over and the main reason she recruited him was no longer there. She wondered if he was going to leave too. She desperately prayed he wouldn’t but on a second thought, she supposed it’d be for the best.

“Hey…” she knocked on his door gently and poked her head through the door.

“Laureen…” he was startled a bit and dropped a picture which he quickly slid under his pillow. She figured it would be awkward to ask what he was hiding seeing for herself that he wouldn’t open up to her.

“Everything good?” 

“Yes. I just wanted to rest a bit after all the hum,” he replied. 

“The days passed so swiftly,” she took a seat on the bed Mitch had slept on  previously and crossed her fingers on her knees.

“Yeah…” he calmed his nerves when he realised he wasn’t going to be interrogated. 

“Dave… I’m really very happy to know you and have you around here this short while…. And I know lying to get you on board with us and even giving you a name when I didn’t know yours may have all happened too fast and without your permission. And … I want to apologize for that. And, if… perchance…. you’ve thought of…. considering …. leaving, you may…. But I wish you don’t have to go so…. yes, that’s what I wanted to tell you,” she wavered with an awkward expression. 

“Thank you…. Boss. I’ll let you know my decision soon,” he smiled at the way she fidgeted with her fingers.

“If you take longer than tomorrow, you’re not going anywhere,” she added and quickly scurried away from his room so he doesn’t see her flushed cheeks. 

He wasn’t doing any better himself but the thought of entertaining romantic relationships was something he pushed so far away from his heart. Especially when he hadn’t forgiven himself for his past. So although it’d have been nice to work side by side with a woman he was beginning to like and admire, he believed he’d only leave her hurt and scarred by his own doing. And that’s not what he wanted.

****

“You guys are back in time for some scrumptious dinner. I took the pains to prepare your favorite knowing you’d be returning home today,” Naomi cackled with joy as she welcomed her son and her other son to a table she had had set up for them.

“And where is that young lady?” She looked behind them and saw that no one else was there.

Todd looked at Mitch and Mitch looked downward. He had kept that same posture throughout the journey except for the intermittent breaks where he had to step out and stretch a bit. Shirley seemed to have done more than rock them up and down. 

“If she’s not home then I don’t know where she’d be. She left earlier than us,” he muttered.

“Earlier? But why did you let her come alone?”

“She’s a full grown woman, mom … and who said she’s alone?” The thought of it irked him. 

“So who is she with?”

“I’m hungry, mom.” Disturbed by the questions he didn’t want to think about for an answer. 

“Alright. Get some food first then,” she said and asked Louis to get their meals ready. 

“How have you been Aunt Naomi?” Todd tried to change the tense atmosphere.

“I’ve been well. Only praying that God would take care of you out there and bring you home safely. And He did!”  she filled their glasses with some milkshake.

“Thank you, ma’am. And how did your last cell meeting go? I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it that day,” he added. 

“It was good. Many people came with their families and it was wonderful how some of them opened up and shared their struggles to encourage others,” she sighed with gratitude when she remembered that day. 

“That’s amazing. From time to time, we also have something like that at church, where the young adults and teens get together over some drinks and pizza and we just study the Bible together to encourage ourselves too. It’s always a healing process for me and for many others. Perhaps, one of these days we could have a mother, like yourself, talk to us and I’m certain they’d love it.” Todd smiled at her.

“Oh you flatter me, my dear. What can an old woman with falling teeth possibly tell such a know-it-all generation,” she chuckled at the thought of it. 

“That’s the deception I want to clear and the more reason I can think of no one better than you to do it. This is a son’s request,” he chipped in, knowing how that would rap on her.

“I see what you’re doing,” she laughed.

“And I’m guessing my son will not let it go until I agree,” she continued. Todd nodded like a little boy.

“If you put it that way, then I can’t say no. However, you’d have to let those young souls enjoy the goodness from their grandmother’s basket. I don’t eat the junk foods you young people of today are so fond of eating.” 

“That’s why we’re gonna let you take care of us completely. We’d only come to your kitchen when you want us to,” Todd said with his hands up and a grin.

“Hmmm… Alright. Then let’s set that date,” she hit the table with a fist in enthusiasm.

“Yes ma’am,” he replied with the same excitement. 

“You know we’re in this together, right?” Todd nudged his friend on the side who had claimed was hungry yet only picked at his food. He said nothing but Todd knew he’d definitely come around. 

“She’s going to be fine, man.”

“I don’t care what she does with her life,” he muttered. Todd only allowed as much as a smirk to draw on his face when he knew his friend was only speaking in the moment. For Naomi, it had been a long time since she saw her son this upset and knowing she had missed out on his growing phases, didn’t want to assume she could get as close as she wanted with him. It hurt her more than anything to not have been there to be with him through all those hard years. Perhaps, she could have had this precious privilege of really knowing her son. However she was going to try and reach him, no matter how far he was away from her emotionally. After all, every journey began with a step. She hesitatingly took his hands in hers and rubbed his knuckles.

“Everything gets better over a tasty hot cake with some cream on it and a touch of love,” she told him with a sweet smile as she cupped his hands in hers. Mitch returned the warmth too when he curled his lip a bit and stared deep into his mother’s eyes. He also saw how so much love and tenderness for him had added on to the lines on her face yet still made her look as radiant as ever. Many a time, folks described her beauty as that of light than from the cosmetics displayed on the shelves. 

“Thanks mom. Still as beautiful as always,” he complimented the old lady and pecked her hand which did a lot to make her feel better. 

“Thank you my boy. I’m only setting the standard of beauty on the kind of lady you should ever think of marrying,” she quipped and excused herself to whip up some creams for her son’s dessert. 

“It turns out you’re finally getting all the food you should have had when you were in your hard years. Who would have thought you’d get such a free feast in a fancy tray,” Todd clamped his shoulder. 

“It only means night is over. It’s time for the  sun to shine,” he replied, feeling a lot lighter than before.

“That’s a wonderful way to put it.”

“I’m so proud of you. You’re learning a lot more than I thought,” Todd added with a smile. A few minutes later, he left for his house while Mitch remained to keep his mother company.