Chapter Fifteen

Had it not been the outer lights that were turned on and off in the mornings and evenings, no one would think there were people living in the apartment. The silence in this little home grew louder and louder as if living in that little space wasn’t grueling enough. Besides the leaking roof above them which needed fixing, their walls needed a touch up. Little Darren had done a good job on them with his crayons. However the major issue that needed fixing were the young couple who hardly made it past two sentences with each other. They often found themselves at different wavelengths of communication and that was having a dwindling influence on their marriage. 

“Honey, I think we need to see a counselor,” Marissa mentioned one time. She had suffered enough of his awkward silence. It seemed to her that moving to their new house was a wrong decision given the fact that she found out something she wished she hadn’t known. But what could they have done when they had increased responsibility and low income.  Everything was beginning to show that they weren’t ready for marriage. Back then, Jamal had student loans to settle. He also had Marissa’s hospital bills to cover not to speak of the wedding they had and the child they were expecting after that. At the time they believed love would take care of everything but the realities which were presented to them said something different.

“We are hard pressed to afford a counselor” he replied dryly but what he really meant was he didn’t want anyone getting involved in their business. That’d involve some digging- a kind of labor he wasn’t ready for. She kept her silence since that day, already battling how he’d react if she gets another news.  

After that day she discovered the notes, she guessed it had something, if not everything, to do with how her husband was acting. To know who wrote those notes would be impossible. She only had herself and her thoughts to indulge with. Her best guess would be Keisha but she was their junior back in school. What could possibly amount from that? Everyone knew how shy and reserved she was. She wouldn’t think of a relationship at that age if she’s right. But then again the rumor which stormed their school about she and Jamal gave her something to think about. The rumor accused Keisha of seducing Jamal as she did with other guys but she knew it wasn’t true. Jamal had told her it wasn’t true and that he was only being the big brother he thought she deserved. Rich was a jerk who didn’t care about anything that happened to his sister. He was too busy doing the wild stuff with his cousin so he stepped in as “her brother”. 

What if Keisha really liked Jamal and it was just unrequited? And if it was really unrequited why does Jamal still have those notes assuming she wrote them? Her mind thought a zillion things at the same time until her head gave her a signal to take a rest. Besides, none of the things she thought were certain yet until her dumb husband decides to speak. All she knows is that he chose her above everyone else back then and saw the sincerity in his eyes when he did. But what if he’s just one good liar? 

He had done a good job all these years hiding his silent struggles under their marriage hoping the intense love he felt for her would take away those unsettling emotions. However what she didn’t know was that now, all he could think about was how much he had failed Keisha and even he wasn’t sure if it was guilt he felt or something totally different. 

****

Being a middle staff at a health facility was stressing him to the bone and the last thing he needed was Marissa’s outbursts of insecurity often playing out in an emotional blackmail or an uncalled for apology, just to say the least. How many times did he have to tell her he loved her for her to be rid of all those things? But he had to be patient with her, being dumped after having a child with someone she really loved would definitely affect her self worth. He couldn’t blame her much. He only came into the scene because he believed he loved her. Now he wasn’t sure if that was the reason. All he remembered was how his mother suffered a similar fate and how vexed he was about the shame she suffered. He felt compelled to step in and save her from the humiliation his former friends had inflicted on her. 

For the past week not much was said between them as the norm was. Their movements around the house looked programmed in such a way that no one crossed the other and everyone did exactly what they needed to do with no need for engagement with anyone. Both of them had their unique reasons for their silence. Marissa felt like a bother, which was normal of her to think so while Jamal just wanted to think and sort out the tons of stuff going on in his head.

“I got invited to Ms Naomi’s cell meeting,” she finally said after many days of silence. He wondered why she’d go there when the women in that meeting were more than half her age but he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and nodded his approval. 

She hoped he’d say something to keep a conversation going but got disappointed.

He decided to spend his day off from work at home since there’ll be no one home anyway. He had already ordered for a parcel to be sent to him on that day from their old home. Darren had left with the Morrey kids earlier so he didn’t have to worry about him either.

 ****

Several weeks had passed and life was gradually taking a new turn for this new acquaintanceship. It was quite hard to describe if it was, considering the snideness of their conversations. If their friendship was any good, it’d be because Keisha had  finally found that one person who could work on her every nerve. 

“You seem to have a lot to say about this guy more than you have said any word in years”, Feena teased. 

“What are you driving at?”

“Nothing,” she packed her bag with a few books. 

“Any plans for today?” Feena asked.

“The usual. Helping out with Naomi today. I think they’re having their old peoples cell or something,”

“All the best with that. I’m not sure I’d want any part of what you gotta do. The last time she called me the devil’s niece, can you imagine?” 

“Looks like the devil’s got siblings then” Keisha chipped back to her. She cleared their dining table of their used dishes- something Feena would never do. Before she could comment on that she got a phone call.

“Hi baby…” she slurred and Keisha was sure she was going to throw up. 

“I’m almost ready. I’ll be with you in a bit”, Feena stroked a finger on her bag lovingly. Keisha quietly observed her and waited for her to hang up. 

“So punctuality with perks, huh? Makes sense. At this rate, I should be expecting a card from you soon”, she quipped as she got herself ready too to step out. 

“Marriage is overrated, girl. It’s just about having fun with someone you care about, love to talk about, like you in your case-“

“And that’s your cue to leave and now” Keisha shoved her bag into her hands and pushed her out of the room.

“See ya.” Feena teased. 

Love must really feel nice and surely have its way of changing things. What would make Feena get back to school after missing a full month of lectures?

Her phone rang too and assumed it would be Naomi. She picked up without looking. 

“Ms Naomi?” 

“Laureen?”

“Yes please…”

“For a while I didn’t think you’d see my note,” she replied.

“I’m the only waitress here,” she slightly chuckled.

“Yeah, right. So…?”

“I really just wanted to say thank you for the note and for leaving your contact behind”, she stuttered a bit. 

“You’re … welcome…” she didn’t know what else to say but she knew she couldn’t just say that and hang up.

“If you want to talk, you know how to reach out”, she tried not to sound too sappy. She wasn’t sure if she meant it but she figured it’d feel nice to be told those words. 

“Thank you,” Laureen sniffled on the other end. 

“Are you alright?”

“… I will. Thank you,” and she hung up on her. 

She was flummoxed at this point but there was nothing she could do to help her even if she knew what to do. Still in her thoughts, their doorbell rang, which was a rare occurrence. She unbolted the door and for a moment she thought no one was there until she looked slightly downward. There she was dressed in a pretty casual green dress with a backpack.

“You…”, clearly not expecting a child at her door and Ms Morrey’s grandchild of all children.

“My name is Albie”, she said, a little too excited.

“Where’s your grandmother?” She stepped out to look around the floor’s hallway.

“She’s at work.”

“And who did she ask to babysit you?”

“No one. She told me I’m old enough now so I don’t need a babysitter”

“How old are you?” Still surprised at the conversation they were having. 

“I’m almost 12 years old”

“So 11, then. But what are you doing here?” That’s the question she’s been meaning to ask since she saw her.

“Can I stay here with you until my granny comes?”

And that question sent her head spinning.

“Excuse me what?” Hoping for the question to change.

“Can I stay here with you until my granny comes?” Albie asked again this time with the cutest smile on.

Keisha had never been faced with a child’s charm before in her life. She never thought it’d be hard to turn a child down until now. Whatever she thought, she felt like a star in this young girl’s eyes. Something no one has ever made her feel. She opened her door a little wider and she strolled in like the little girl she is. 

“Did you bring your snacks or something? I don’t have that much over here,” she opened her empty cabinets and knew she had to be honest with the young lass just in case she’d change her mind and go to another neighbor with all the sweets she’d want.

“I’m okay,” she said. 

“I took some earlier and even brought you some,” she unzipped her bag and pulled out some cakes and biscuits.

“You brought me snacks? Why?”

“My grandmother says I shouldn’t ask questions when given a gift and just say thank you?” Albie replied with a smile. She knew she had no answer to that question and perhaps she could bribe her with these to not snitch on her grandmother that she was there. 

“I see… erm, thanks?” she said, still wondering what an eleven year old would be doing at her apartment. She tried to hide a few of their stuff she knew would be inappropriate for a child to see. As she picked up their blue magazines and toys from the hall all she could think of was how Feena would not spare her for this. It was  going to be a month long of teasing.

It’d be better if she doesn’t find out, she thought. 

Now the next thing she worried about was what to get her to keep her engaged  till she saw her pull out her sketchpad.

“Oh, she came with her manual,” she muttered to herself, slightly relieved about the fact that she didn’t have to find her something to do. After a few hours, she remembered the task Ms Naomi had given her and briefly stepped out.

“Erm… you stay here and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, or do?” Not sure what she really wanted to say to her and left. Albie crossed her legs and colored her drawings with her markers. 

She skipped as many steps as she could to get to the Diners. If it was anyone else, she couldn’t be bothered about anything but this was Ms Naomi. After everything she’d done for her, she deserved that much respect from her. She barely got to the ground floor when she bumped into a man who just got a parcel from a courier. She shrieked as if she was going to fall but he was fast enough to hold her upright. The man she saw made her want to shut her eyes so she could disappear but there he was, just like how she imagined him.

“Why is this happening to me?” She thought to herself as her eyes slowly glistened with water. This was how close she could ever be to tears. 

“Keisha,” Jamal said. That one word was filled with everything his heart had ever wanted to say from eons ago.

She jerked away from him and started the next flight of stairs. He grabbed her by the arm and turned her to face him. 

“How have you been?” It was evident he really cared and wanted to know. She on the other hand, found that question repulsive. She smirked at the thought of it.

“I have been the way I was since that night you never showed up”, she smiled and yanked her arm out of his grasp. 

“Let’s talk, Keisha. I have so much to tell you”

“You told me everything I should know the last time we met, Jamal,” and those words stung deeply inside of him. He was left tongue-tied and she continued on down the stairs without looking back. This time, faster than she did before.

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