Chapter Ten

It was the usual day of his scheduled appointment with Todd. Lois was a bit more at ease with him now whenever he came by. She was beginning to notice him a little more than before, especially when he started changing his wardrobe. He was looking less thuggish than before. He had his facial hair well groomed now and his hair was trimmed more appropriately.

“Pastor Todd will be with you in a bit. Kindly make yourself comfortable”, Lois showed him to the reception lounge.

“Thank you”, he smiled briefly and that was enough to get her heart racing. 

As he sat, he figured he could maximise that time to have a good look around, perhaps to inspire him on this journey he had began. He noticed the antique vases and artifacts that were strategically placed on the divider shelf. He noticed one piece that the sun called to his attention through its light. It looked like the usual orb but had very unique details. 

“May I have a closer look at this, please?” He asked Lois and she gave an approving nod before thinking of speaking. Totally forgetting the Do Not Touch sign which was boldly displayed on the wall by the shelf. 

Mitchel grabbed the orb and carefully examined it looking all around and inside it. It looked like the artist intended to create warmth inside the orb given how there was a play of colours with red, orange and yellow. He also noticed the representation of land in there with the brown soil and green grasses. The details were amazing and it showed all over his face. He took pictures of it from different angles, some facing the sun and others facing a blank wall. He gently placed it back where he found it and felt like he’d just found the masterpiece. A few moments later, a lady frantic with anger and confusion stormed out of the office and that called an attention.

Mitch wished he wasn’t there when he saw her because she recognized him immediately.

“You!” She charged towards him and he tried to keep his calm. 

“How dare you dump me?!” She cried. 

“After all those nights I gave myself to you, is this the thanks I get? Really?”

Why did ladies always push the blame of sexual gratification to the guys? As if they do not feel the same. He knew it was a wrong time to state his opinions on the matter at hand. The situation was clear that something was wrong with this lady and she needed help. Any help at all, if not mental.

“Simona, calm down” he tried to get her to sit but she fought back.

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down. You’re going to pay for using me like this! I promise!”

“Simona-“

“Don’t you Simona me! You know what you’ve done to me. And I’m going to let you pay for it!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Feigning ignorance as usual. So typical of you men. You use us like paper towels and then afterwards find a lame excuse to kick us to the curb. Jesus, you say? Let’s see if your Jesus can forgive you for all the women you have raped and abused in your past!” and she tromped off.

Lois was dumbfounded. Those were quite some harsh accusations and what troubled her was the fact that he denied none of them. His face flushed with shame and anger, and decided to leave without seeing Todd anymore. It was the one thing that haunted him day and night. The girl he had scarred, used and tossed aside like a day-old newspaper when he was a teenager. Whether all those ladies wanted it or not was beside the point. He used them and now he wondered if he was really forgivable after all. Was this Jesus worth all these insults? How sure was he that he’s forgiven? Having these questions at a time like this with no one to give him the right answers sent him back to the pit where he lays down all his defenses. Someone may call it the place of lawlessness, but he called it home, because that’s what he’s always known.

He booked a full week at Night’s Mare on that day and took a seat by the counter awaiting his room key. 

“It’s been so long, Mitch. How have you been?” one bartender asked.

“Fine.”

“Here’s your key. Would you want any ladies sent to you? Your usuals are around. I could have them cancel any appointments and attend to you”

“No. No one. Nobody at all. I’ll just grab a bottle of that,” he pointed at one of the beer bottles and made his way up the stairs to his room. Away from the noise and dark lights. 

“He looks like he’s out of it. Why does he want no one?”, the bartender wondered. 

“Usually Shirlene had her way of lifting up his spirits yet he didn’t ask of her.”

She picked up her phone and dialed a number. The receiver picked up.

“Your guy is in”

“Really? I’ll be there in a bit!”

“But he didn’t ask for anyone though”

“Of course. He’s expecting me.”

“He didn’t mention you either”

“I’m still coming. Make sure you send no one to his room”, she warned. 

“Whatever. Suit yourself. And that’d be a dollar” she hang up.

Always selling herself short, the bartender thought. Though she meant it for the lady she just called but she also felt the rap too.

He sat by his bed and tried to drink away the shameful memories he had just been filled with. He knew that girl was trouble the day he saw her but he allowed his hormones to lead him all the way, deceiving himself into thinking she was a church girl so she’d be harmless. Here he was, suffering the bruises from a supposed saint now playing the role of the Accuser and she had every right to. Although a part of him almost believed that all these church freaks were silent accusers, another part of him showed him Pastor Todd and how he had been gentle and loving towards him. He never buttered him up with flattery words or their usual jargons but he related with him like a brother. People can fake being anything but not being a brother.

There was a gentle screech from the door and in stepped the one kind of specie he wasn’t ready to welcome. Thankfully the beer hadn’t filled his head.

“What are you doing here? Did you not get the message?”

“Oh Mitchy, it’s been so long. Do you not miss me?”

“I want you to leave before I really get mad at you for this,” and it didn’t sound like a conversation. 

“Mitchy-“

“Out! And now!” He roared.

She shamefully picked up her heels and her purse and cast one last glance at him hoping for him to change his mind. He looked away from her and latched on to his bottle. That felt like half a battle won. 

---