Chapter Twelve

Seven years ago

The cold breezy night did little to soothe the turbulent mood within, especially following the news she just received from her email. Thoughts of all kinds ran through her head as she stood at the bus terminal. She was too much in her thoughts to notice anyone or anything. “Another failure…”, “Do you have a plan at all…”, “How long are you going to be this aimless?” Everyone had their favourite line for her in times like these and it just so happened that she had all registered in her subconscious.

She thought of how to handle those words again now that this had happened. What bothered her most was the amount of money she spent on buying all those forms… 600 dollars. Which she coughed up from what she earned at her mother’s restaurant. So much for being a rich woman’s daughter. She hardly saw herself that way. Her folks pulled her out of school when she got to eighth grade and she had to rely on herself for the application forms this time. Her eldest brother promised to take care of her fees once she got into college but it didn’t look like that promise was going to happen anytime soon.

Maybe she was grateful for the rejection after all. Because knowing her brother, his one act of kindness would be a reference point to rub in more salt on every wound she gets for the rest of her life. She’s still paying for the crime of accepting his kindness when she was twelve and now she’s seventeen.

She sat on the bench at the terminal absent-mindedly brushing her scrawny fingers through her sweat damped hair with her head bowed and kicking invisible stones on the floor. Before long, the bus arrived and had she not been interrupted by the honk from the driver she would have missed it. With heavy feet, she got onto the bus and sat by one weirdo who looked out of the window the whole time with his black hoodie almost covering his whole face.

How she wished she didn’t have to sit with him! Who knows the last time this fellow took a bath? Not like he gave off a bad scent but he just looked, weird and gloomy. In the next second the bus took off. The thought of going home made her insides coil. Getting her sick to the stomach. Sweat glided down her face profusely out of anxiety and she could feel little things crawling all over her. She got to her stop but didn’t have the guts to get off. She sat still and went on another round trip with the bus, hoping no one had noticed her but interestingly the weird guy did, however, he wasn’t going to get involved in any one’s business.

“Hi. Are you alright? You seem to have a lot on your mind.” Another guy walked up to her and the weird guy paid him no mind. He knew his type. He had a record. He invented those moves. But he had just been out of it for sometime so these false kind gestures were nothing. Hopefully this would be different. He adjusted himself well in the seat and covered his face well with his hoodie so he could sleep.

“Oh err… nothing, I’m fine… I kinda enjoy bus rides a lot…” she stuttered as if she’s been caught.

“I see, well I’m Dwayne.” 

“I’m-“

“Keisha”, he cut in.

“You know me?”

“Mmhmm, from church, the ushering department, right?”

“Church? Oh, right. Sorry I didn’t recognize you sooner…”

“Don’t worry about that. Given your role at church, it’s normal not to. Besides, I only visited once.”

“Oh okay… sure“

“Anyway, I don’t know if now is the right time to ask for your permission to be your friend and you me…”

“Err… well, I guess we could.” He smiled as he nodded. They exchanged contacts and he promised to call. He finally got off the bus when he got to his stop and they exchanged their smiles and byes. That was a good interruption for her to take a break from the daunting thoughts that took control of her mind. She heaved a deep sigh and loosened up a bit to take a nap until the bus came by her stop again. 

The hood guy was close to his little apartment, half a mile away from the young lady’s stop but she was too sound asleep on his shoulder to wake her. Why do women always put themselves in these vulnerable positions? Sleeping like they’re home when they’re actually with a stranger, he sighed. To wake her up or not? He had just spent his last dime on this trip. Will he provide a shoulder for this woman at his inconvenience?

“Lady…. Lady”, he gently tapped her but she wouldn’t budge. 

“Miss…? Lady? there was no answer. He gave up the thought and was going to yank her off his shoulder but before his hands reached her, a voice in his head stopped him.

“It’s only half a mile away from her stop. The world is lacking enough good people, you know” He grit his teeth at the thought and laid his head against the rail behind him. 

A while later, she awoke to see where she had laid her head and prayed that this fellow hadn’t noticed since he looked asleep too. He knew she’d be embarrassed if she found him awake so he turned his head away from her pretending to be asleep.

Finally at her stop again, she scuttled off the bus before he woke up. She now had to worry about what waited for her at home. All too soon, the much dreaded scene she was stalling to see was slowly approaching her. 

“Again?! You didn’t get in? Again?? This is the sixth school application…”

“You need your ears checked or what? She was rejected! Well, why am I not surprised? All she knows is church and that damned restaurant of yours, thanks to you. And I wonder why you bother given her history, that’s, if there’s some truth to Bertha’s words. If I had known sooner she’d be such a fanatic I would have sent her to a convent and be rid of her!” Brent blurted.

“Oh, cut it out, Brent! I’ve had enough of your idiotism. She’s our daughter, for crying out loud?”

“I would never have a daughter be so daft. She’s never amounted to anything. All she’s ever done was grow up and incur losses. Maybe she got this denseness from you”

“Brent! Will you shut it?”

“And who are you to raise your voice at me? Who do you think you are? Am I so accurate in my words?”

“I am just so ashamed to have you for a husband. How can you blurt out such senseless words? Are you that much of a fool?”

“Haven’t you ever asked why I go out? It’s because you gave birth to such brats. I needed to explore my options in getting better children…”

And that day, she was the theme for their fight. The words were a bit harsher from previous times but the underlying message was the same…. A failure. She left the couple to bicker at each other and headed to her room having no strength left to get emotional.

Refusing to agree with those words would only give her more to hurt about. How about just accepting them and living in that peace that it’s true? 

They were her folks, they brought her to the world… They’ll definitely know her best, she thought.

Just when she was about to call it a night, her phone beeped. Expecting to see the worst texts from her siblings already, she was surprised to see a notification from her new friend.

“It was a brief encounter but I hope it gets longer next time… Goodnight.”

Upon seeing that text, she did feel some warmth which got her smiling but for some reason, didn’t reply. “Why would I be served with an expensive meal on a nice tray?” She thought to herself and snuggled up in her bed.

A few days down the lane and the rest of the family had already heard of school rejection situation. Her sisters and brother were already home to give her their piece.

“What do you mean you didn’t get in?” Rich yelled.

“Uh-huh, would you ever get anything right?” Yvette added. Cookie could care less, especially when she was dragged home. She was quite surprised to see her. All she did was stay on her phone tweeting and taking snaps. She was her favourite sister for that – she just didn’t care.

“Why have you decided to always drag us down with your issues, Keisha? You’re not a child anymore. We don’t always have to cushion you, you know…” Yvette chided.

At this point, she was tired of the hypocrisy. The plan was to be silent like always but this time, it got exhausting. She looked up at them and chuckled.

“Well, no one’s asked you to care, right? So why don’t you all drop the act and stop being interested in my life?” At that, even Cookie was shocked to the point of dropping her phone.

“What did you just say?” Rich asked.

“I said, I’m tired of your hypocrisy already. You all know you really don’t care about what goes on in my life and you just use the failures in my life to feel good about yourselves. Well I’m tired of being your cheerleader so if I’m dragging you, then just leave, that’s all I ask!”  She got up and left them at the table, heading straight out of the house. 

She found herself at the terminal and went on her round trips again with the bus. By this time, the bus drivers had all taken notice of her and at times offered her free passes.

They were all still shocked by what had just happened,

“Wow, it seems to me like someone finally grew up” Cookie remarked.

“I… I don’t know what just happened…” Yvette remarked.

“Mom, is this how she’s like now?” Rich asked.

“…Even I … don’t know… She’s gotten weird ever since… never mind” at that, she got up and left for her room.

****

“Good to see you again…” came a familiar voice.

“… Oh hi, Dwayne…”

“I must have underestimated how much you like bus rides… Anyway, if you don’t mind, could we go on an adventure?”

“What kind of adventure?”

“One that I know you’d absolutely love”

“I… really don’t think that’s a good idea… I kinda want to be left alone…”

“Too bad… I was hoping to work some magic to get you to smile at least…”

“…I guess you already did…” she curled her lips upwards and he couldn’t help but admire her hazel eyes that were like tiny windows into her beautiful heart.

“I like your eyes” he said. That was a surprise and lost the words she was going to say. If she was going to send him away, now would not be a good time for that. 

“Tell you what, I may not feel for an adventure but you can make yourself comfortable in this seat…”

“I’d love to…” he switched seats immediately and handed her a chocolate bar.

“Thanks…”

He nodded and got started on his sweet. She still struggled to get herself well acquainted with this guy not realizing it was a habit she’d picked up growing up with siblings who were hardly around for any family relationship.

“I’m… an only child… My folks are divorced and since I graduated, I’ve been living alone in our family home because none of them wanted the house, and I wanted to be with neither of them so in a way, everyone got what they wanted, kind of…?” he smirked.

“I’m…. sorry about that… Don’t know why you chose to share this with me but I hope this helps… Everything gets better with time, I guess. I hear people say that a lot but I’m yet to experience that. But for now, I think you can be happy regardless …” she replied.

“You make a good point. Is that why you take these round trips?”

“Mmhmm. It’s what makes me happy…”

“I see…”

“And… I’m sorry if I’m not able to tell you about me yet. Was kind of scared that I had to trade secrets with you too…”

“Not at all… I told you because I wanted to. You take your time to trust me… as a friend…” he replied with a smile.

“Thank you…”

“Must be a special someone…” he commented on her locket chain.

“Yeah…”

“First love?”

“Only because he scared away all my male friends who had his good looks…” she smiled as she toyed with it.

“… I see. Anyway I’m a few secs away from my stop. Heading to a theatre rehearsal for a performance and I’m hoping you pass through some time, it may not be what you’re used to but maybe it’s just the right place for you”.

“Sure thing. And thanks for today…”

“My pleasure…and, same here…” The bus pulled over and he got off. She played with the locket which hung around her neck, not sure how to feel. Whether to feel longing or allow herself to wallow in heartbreak.

The next day…

“I wasn’t expecting your visit so soon…” Dwayne welcomed her in.

“Me too…” she replied, tossing a pack of jellies to him and making herself comfortable in one of the seats on the first row. She rolled her free flowing brunette hair into a bun and stuffed her mouth with some gummies she had bought from a convenience store. Dwayne kept his gaze on this girl whose eyes were fixed on the performance onstage.

“Thanks for this…” he slightly raised the pack of jellies she had just given to him.

“Mmhmm… never thought I’ll get a free pass to such a hot place like this so take that as my thanks”, she remarked, nodding her head as she reached out for another jelly.

“Well, that’s the benefit of being my friend…” he passed in reply, finally turning to the play.

“I’m beginning to wonder how many people have these free passes…” she quipped.

“I wish I had a number more than one” he smirked.

“Time will tell if there are no checked out numbers”, she winked with a grin, still munching on her jellies.

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