Chapter Twenty-One

“Ten years ago there was a girl. Her name may not be important to mention but just to help us identify who she was, let’s call her… Shasha. I wish I could tell you she was lovely but she wasn’t. Maybe that’d be the only difference between you two. She was quiet, well-mannered, a scaredy cat and a crybaby. I would never have thought of you as any of those if I hadn’t seen you cry so much today. Anyway, this girl lived with a mother who didn’t want her and siblings who cared less about whether or not she existed…” she paused. Albie lifted her head up still sobbing. It looked like she was listening to the story, seeing how she reacted with what she said.

“Why?” She sobbed a little more quietly. Keisha smiled as she tried to get an answer for that.

“I wouldn’t know, Albie. I wouldn’t, but I bet your case was better than hers.”

“Why?”

“Your mother left you with your grandmother because she knew she would love you better than her. You may have thought your mother didn’t want you like Shasha’s mother didn’t, but believe me, if your mother didn’t love you, she wouldn’t have left you with someone like  your grandma. I know she is a little intense but she really loves you and that’s something I want you to remember,” she said.

“So what was Shasha like in school? Did she have friends?”

“If friends are bullies then she had many of them. And she wasn’t a bright student like you. Not even average but I bet her English could match up with yours. So because of that she wrote lots of stuff in her diaries- stories, poems, articles, you name them, but she never joined any writers’ club or anything else because the other kids would laugh at her for trying and I told you she was a scaredy cat so you can’t expect her to do anything. Her mother never encouraged her to do stuff like her siblings did, rather, she got her serving at her restaurant and at church, telling her that’s the only thing she’d ever be good at-“

“Is that why she helps Grandma Naomi?”

“Mmhm. You’re right. Serving is the only thing she knows to do and I think she’s not so bad at it, is she? Wait. How do you know if I’m Shasha or not?”

“I’m ten. I’m smart.” She laughed a little through her tears.

“Right. Too smart for your age. Well, if you know who Shasha is then the story is ruined. Goodnight,” she was getting up to leave when Albie held her down.

“Please don’t go. I want to know what happened to Shasha,”. Keisha hesitated for a moment and sat down.

“Did Shasha have crushes too?”

“Hmmm… so this is what you were interested in all along. Well, if you must know then yes. She did have crushes. Only on one person though. He was her only friend and a senior.” Albie raised her brows, surprised to hear that.

“Did he like her too?”

“… She thought he did…” her throat felt warm as those words slipped out. 

“Oh… that’s sad,” she looked down at herself still sobbing softly.

“He was so cool, so handsome, fun, he never let the other guys bully me, not even my brother though he was his best friend,” she took a moment to recount those sweet memories which had soured. Albie caught the glint in her eyes as she spoke.

“He sounds like a nice guy. What was his name?” 

“I wish I could tell you but I promised myself to never tell anyone,” she replied. 

“Why?”

“Because it only reminded me of how pitiful I was the day I found out he liked someone else…” 

“That day was my birthday. He promised to take me out to see a movie as a birthday gift. I showed up in one of the best dresses I could lay my hands on hoping that’d make a good impression…”

“And did it?”

“He never got to see it”

“Why not?” 

Because it got ripped off. She couldn’t bring herself to say it. All she did was smile in reply.

****

Ten years ago

She stood in front of the cinema the whole time waiting for him. She waited so long that the show ended before she could even make it in. Just when she turned and was ready to leave she stumbled upon her cousin and his little bunch of friends. 

“Hey, what are you doing here? Does your mother know you’re here?” Jamie scolded her. 

She knew it wouldn’t be wise to tell her she came because of Jamal especially because of how he and her brother had been at loggerheads in recent days, she wished she knew why. 

“Ah… let me guess, Jamal.” Jamie added, seeing how she trembled in front of him. 

“Seriously Keisha, what do you see in this guy? Don’t you know he’s been toying with your feelings? Do you really think he likes you? If he did, I think your brother would still be talking with him but he doesn’t…”

“What are you talking about?” She hopped on this one chance to know what was possibly going on between these friends.

“Finally ready to hear reason. Your cute “boyfriend” decided to steal your brother’s girlfriend. You know, Marissa, the exchange student who just got in our class. In fact, I can tell you where they’re at this second,” he took out his phone and opened his Snapchat for her to see. And it was all there for her to know what she needed to know. Tears flooded her eyes sending pangs of pain through her heart. She forgot for a moment that she was in public. She slumped down and hugged her knees and quietly sobbed the whole time until Jamie knelt beside her to get her up. He was roguish on most days and although he also had his share of bullying his cousin, he knew he had to be there for her as a big brother every once in a while.

“Hey, Keish…. You can’t do this here. Let’s get you home first. I’ll … get you one of your favorite fairytale movies to watch at home and even get you an ice cream…” he tried to console her.

“And oh, the old geezers aren’t home too so you shouldn’t worry about having to sleep early,” and he was right with that. Their mothers had an engagement at church, Richie decided to spend all of his time at the arcades venting his anger toward Jamal there and the two girls had the whole day booked at the spa. None of them was bothered about whoever’s birthday it was. It was no wonder that Jamal’s date meant so much to her, apart from the fact that she was head over heels for him.

“Come on, let’s go,” he lifted up the crying girl and took her to one of Rich’s trucks he had brought. His three friends joined from the back and couldn’t help but notice the budding young girl with them. The ride home was rather short and Jamie’s buds excitedly got off the vehicle with their pizzas which they had ordered earlier. They hurried to their usual spot but Keisha remained a little longer in the truck, brooding over the pain she had just been brought to. She didn’t expect her first heartbreak to come this early in life. She physically felt the stab in her chest, the creeps gnawing at her from the inside and the tears just couldn’t stop falling. Jamie paused a bit to try to sympathize and to be less jerky like he’d usually be. 

“Take some time to get yourself in order. When you’re ready, we’d be at the Boy Hood and I’ll let you watch whatever girly movie you wish, like I promised, ok?” He clamped her shoulder gently and she snivelled. Too broken to even gesture anything or say anything.

He continued to their Boy Hood which was up the stairs. It was where they had their times. Sally thought it’d be right for them to take upstairs for their games and whatnots seeing how messy they could be. Ideally, the space was to be used by the cousins but the ladies were hardly home to find need for it so the boys decided to make it theirs by owning it- calling it the Boy Hood. The boys sank into the couch, some getting on the bean bags and munched on the pizza they had just bought from town, together with some punch Jamie had stored secretly in his room.  One guy couldn’t stop himself from thinking about his friend’s cousin just now and he was going to be the one to steer the night into a different direction. 

“What are we watching?” Jamie asked, ready to set up a movie for them to watch and one of them suggested a video game instead but the other two wanted a movie so it ruled that out.

“How about that movie we watched the last time? You know, the one that almost got us in trouble,” he added.

“Are you kidding me? Should my mother appear from nowhere and I’d be toast!”

“Oh come on, I know you enjoy being toasted,” the others teased. 

“Ha… I guess so,” he sighed. 

“We just have to be quick about it and no one would know we did”. He started the movie and the guys all had their eyes glued to this movie they knew would release dangerous chemicals to their brains but the curiosities they had aroused was too much to be avoided. 

“Oh damn… I think I’m gonna…” Jamie muttered, gradually losing himself in the moment.

“I’m really feeling for a bed right now” another said.

“If only there was someone-“ and they heard someone unbolt the door from down the stairs.

To be sure it wasn’t anyone who would spank his heinie for this, he turned off their lights upstairs and sneaked a peek at who.

“Oh, it’s Keisha. No trouble,” he sighed. 

“But she might just be the one who can, you know, help you”

Jamie turned to them. His face did the talking and  he didn’t look amused. 

“Forget that thought. You’re not touching her. None of you are,” he warned.

“I never said we were. I meant you.” 

“She’s my cousin.”

“And a woman too. Clearly she’s had a bad day and you can’t deprive her of having something like this to help her feel good?” 

“I think it’s a win-win Jamie. Both of you get to enjoy yourselves and solve your problems together,” another added.

“This is a bad idea,” Jacob chipped. He was the one who suggested a video game. His friends bugged him for being a milksop until he gave up talking. 

Jamie took a moment to reason it all out but the drink they had taken earlier wasn’t helping in his judgement either. He took his heavy self up and leaned on the upper railing.

“Keisha…” he called out to her, in a calculated manner, masking any influence the punch may have on him.

Keisha stopped and looked up at him with her swollen eyes. She had cried so much that her eyes were sore. Looking up at him was hard enough for her, she had to look down at some point. 

“Let me help you have a good time, sis. You don’t have to end today like this,” he added.

“It’s alright. I’ll be fine. I just want to be alone, right now,” she said quietly, trying to not cry again in front of him. 

“Alright. Then you come and let me give you a goodnight hug. It’s the least I can do.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she replied.

“But I want to.”

Slowly, she started the staircase and got closer and closer to him. She realized something was off when she was greeted with the stench of liquor there. Before she could say a word, Jamie threw his arms around her and hugged her so tightly that she could hardly breathe.

“Jamie, I think that’s enough. I’m ok now. Please let me go,” she said through her teeth but she only felt strangled at that point. His hands began to travel down her back and his lips moved all over her neck and now she knew she was in real trouble.

“Jamie, what are you doing? Stop! You’re scaring me,” she cried in fear. The warm tears traveled down her face again. She used her last strength to push him away and started running down the stairs. The guys charged after her and through the front doors. Three had the same motive but the last one did not.  She wanted to get out of the compound, out of the house to somewhere public, hopefully, reason would return to their minds and they’d stop. She managed to make it out the front gate but not fast enough to get to the busy streets. Jamie caught up with her just around the hedges lining the outer garden and seized her there. The hedges were long enough to keep them from sight but he needed to worry about them being heard. One of his friends tied a hanky around her mouth and they pinned her to the cold grassy ground. 

“You guys should stop this!” Jacob tried to speak reason to them but one of the guys threw a huge punch in his face to shut him up. He knocked hard on the ground and felt the numbness in his nose. It was broken.

Keisha fought back hard hoping that every punch would snap her cousin to reason but she only ended up sustaining more bruises. Her broken heart crushed as she laid helpless, watching her cousin rip off her clothes hungrily and ravishing her body like some kind of animal. Her chest moved up and down in torturous pain at the thought of what was done to her body. She clenched hard her fist in the grass at the pain she felt below, shuddering at the thought that she couldn’t let out a scream to express those pangs. 

Her heart pounded so loudly as if it was coming to her rescue to scream for her. But it was unfortunate it wasn’t loud enough to be heard over the hedges. Her throat closed up and in that moment she could tell she was going to die from strangling. Even the sobs which escaped her throat came with great pain. She had to try hard to quiet her trembling body and endure the pain silently and wait for the ordeal to end. After he had had his fill of pleasure, his friends took their turns on her and this time, her body juddered like that of a failing engine and she knew she wasn’t going to make it after that. 

“You guys… STOOOOPPP!!! You’re going to kill her!” Jake hollered but he was hurt himself. There wasn’t much he could do. Keisha’s sobs could hardly be heard at this point and like hiccups, she could hardly stop them from coming and that brought her pain and more pain each time it happened. Out of nowhere, the guys heard someone making their way to where they were.

“Damn that boy,” one of them cussed at Jacob for drawing attention. They quickly picked up their stuff and dashed off, leaving her behind on the cold grassy ground. Jacob would have stayed if he wasn’t so scared that he’d be accused of this crime. 

****

Present

“Pretty Miss… are you crying?” Albie nudged her a little and that brought her back from that dark abyss.

“I guess you’re still stronger than that little girl, Albie” she managed a smile.

“Why are you crying?” And she heard her doorbell buzz. Keisha quickly wiped off her tears, wondering who it could be.

“Maybe it’s your grandmother,” she said through her teeth as she made it to the door and cracked it open.

“Oh… Aunt Naomi,” surprised to see her at their apartment.

“May I?” 

“Oh sure” she widened the gap for her to enter. 

“I wanted to check on you two to see if you were ok,” Naomi took a seat by Albie and rubbed her gently on the shoulders.

“We’re fine. I was just …” she couldn’t find the words.

“That’s alright,” Naomi shifting her attention to Albie. 

“I don’t know why I remember a girl who looked just as helpless as you rightnow some years ago. Maybe she was a little older than you but that girl was on the verge of death when I found her.” 

“Found her?”

“Yes… I found her… sprawled out  in a grassy ground that night, her hair all over the place, her dress shredded and spotted with blood…” Keisha turned to face Naomi horrified, only to see Naomi looking back at her with tears in her eyes. Albie stared at both of them completely lost in the silence.

Feeling a bit better and noticing the tensed atmosphere in the room, she thought it’d be best  to return to her home. She could only imagine how her grandmother would be looking like right now.

“I would like to go home now… Thank you Pretty Miss for the story. I hope Shasha gets her happily ever after too,” she smiled through her dried tears. Keisha smiled back, but not for the same reason as hers. Her smile spelt the truth she had decided to accept- that she’s just a few inches from the end. 

 They finally had the room alone and for the longest time silence was the only thing heard.

“Is this why …. You said you knew me before?” Keisha had to get a grip on something to ease her distressing mind. Naomi nodded.

“And I didn’t want to remind you because of how. No woman would wish to remember something like that,” she stifled a sob. Keisha trembled as she leaned on the chair by the dining table. All of a sudden the dirtiness she felt that day descended on her. She cowered as if in fear of being seen that way again. It was as if she was reliving the whole experience. She even drew back when Naomi tried to reach her. Thankfully Naomi didn’t misunderstand her swift withdrawal and tried to meet her where she was emotionally.

“My dear… you are not an object to have been used and tossed aside as garbage,” she took her hands firmly in hers.

“You are beautiful. You are special. You are… worth dying for,” Naomi added. 

“Please stop, Naomi… You don’t know me. You have no idea who I am so you don’t get to tell me what you think I am,” she spat out and pulled further away from her. 

“That’s alright, then will you tell me who you are?”

Keisha stood before her motionless. And like a tornado, she found herself falling deep into the gloomy swirls of her dark memories again.

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